There is an unrealistic financial criterion for the groom that is imposed by families in an arranged marriage. Something that all of us have grown up watching, how many expectations are put on the shoulders of a young man. And the salary expectations are simply soaring high with time by the families seeking ‘most eligible grooms’. These days, it is particularly observed with the guys employed in IT sector.

The matter garnered attention and even sparked an online debate when Vineeth. K, an investor and entrepreneur took up to X voicing his frustrations upon the issue. He slammed the high salary demands from grooms in arranged marriages.

Vineeth’s post read -

Within no time the post went viral on X with social media users sharing their quick reactions and expressing their opinions. The comments section began flooding up with netizens reacting to the post. Some of them took to share their own experiences of societal pressures. While the others tried bringing it to the limelight how the men are often exploited and humiliated by brides’ families with their exorbitant demands.

Here is a varied set of comments shared below the post-

A user commented stating the demand of a good job with good salary with a flat too. It read as, “In one case a young smart, well-educated boy earning good salary in MNC bank in Mumbai is unable to find a match as he does not own a flat in Mumbai. How can a young boy buy a flat at the age of 28 just 4 years of starting a job? Is it like reverse dowry system?”

Another user shared, “Exactly. For their own son, expectations are different. For a son-in-law, expectation goes above the sky.”

Someone also said, “Marriage situation is one of the biggest crisis in India. Unless the parents become reasonable and convince their children, we see a generation of working people marrying at 30-35 years old with serious issues about having children. Many may not even get married…unfortunately, I see girls and their parents having unreasonable expectations.”

A user shared an anecdote-

I remember when I was talking to a parent, “What is your son’s package?”

Me- “Is that so important you want to know firsthand?”

Parent- “Yes”

Me- “What if I say my son earns 1 crore per annum?”

Parent- “Unbelievable”

Me- “What if he drinks every day?”

The conversation continued further. However, some users also talked about current financial demands in metro cities like Bengaluru and Mumbai. It cannot be termed as something entirely baseless. One of the comments read, “It’s easier to make 1 lakh/month in IT, especially when you are in IT hub cities, but here’s the problem: it’s not sufficient to survive in those families unless your wife is also working. There’s a big difference between earning 1 lakh in a tier-2 city and in a big city.”

This post has spurred the debate or has brought a matter that is often brushed under the carpet in our societies. It is not about the tradition or culture, or about demanding for a secure future of your daughter. It is about the changing dynamics of the world and the economic realities that are in front of us right now. In an arranged set-up these things are usually overlooked. And actually, these are the practicalities of our life. Is it all about Paisa, gadi and a mehenga ghar? Does a man needs all of it in order to get married? Of course, you have to do it for the future of the girl, but is there any criteria? Or is it about the demands that are supposed to be fulfilled anyhow. There has to be an understanding among the families after which the match can be finalized. Unrealistic expectations and demands cannot be satisfied either ways.