1. There are three types of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can’t.
2. How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.
3.Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? Donald: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Teacher: What are you talking about? Donald: Yesterday you said it was H to O.
4. What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get a new clock.
5. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
6. Where would you find an elephant? The same place you lost her.
7. What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts
8. Dad: i want you to Marry a girl of my choice Son: No! Dad: The girl is Bill Gates' daughter. ....Son: Then okay. Dad goes to Bill Gates. ....Dad: i want your daughter to Marry my Son. Bill Gates: NO! Dad: My son is the CEO World Bank. Bill Gates: Then okay. Dad goes to the president of the World Bank. Dad: Appoint my son as CEO. President: NO! Dad: He is the son-in-low of Bill Gates. President:Then okay. THIS IS BUSINESS
9. Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
10.Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
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